Finding Home
by that-one-demigod
Summary: A few chapters of one-shot style destiel fluff (and there's a little bit of angst, but not too bad). Set after S8 finale, and Dean is looking for Cas. Hope y'all like it, since the description isn't too… descriptive. c:
1. Chapter 1

**OK, this is just gonna be a few chapters of one-shots. Hopefully I'll be updating every couple of days (or maybe every day if people like it). c:**

Dean prays hard for Cas, because Cas has been gone for a month now. And Dean knows that Cas can't hear him, because Cas is human, and Cas is probably hungry and cold and alone.

Dean drops to the ground, clutching his knees, huddling with dull eyes. Dean can feel his brother watching from the corner of the room, his brow furrowed but his face cleared of blood and his body healed from the trials.

_Cas. Cas, come back to me. Cas, bud, are you listening?_

But there is no shadow of movement, no Cas.

Dean rocks back and forth on the carpet, not letting himself cry.

"We'll keep looking for him, man," Sam says, his voice resilient. "We're not going to give up until we find him."

Dean nods.

…

Castiel has taken to walking on the sides of big roads. He remembers roads like these, but he can't remember where they were leading, or who he was traveling with.

He'd woken up a month ago on the ground with one word in his mouth. One name. _Dean. _Maybe he'd been traveling with a man named Dean.

But he doesn't remember anything else except the color of Dean's eyes. Green, green like summer grass. He'd left the place he was in, scouring the roads for this Dean. He can feel the memory of Dean, but he can't see him in his mind's eye. His chest hurts when he thinks about it.

Since he woke up he's been to many places, many dingy towns alongside his wide roads with pavement faded and overused. Castiel likes to imagine the stories of people in the cars. His favorite scenario is pretending two young brothers drive an old car across the country. He wonders where that scene came from, because he truly can't remember.

…

Dean watches Sam come out of the hospital empty-handed.

"I'm sorry, Dean," says his brother apologetically as he gets into the passenger seat of Dean's Impala. Dean's heart sinks to his toes. "He might not even be in a hospital, Dean. He could be walking around, so we just gotta pay real close attention to the roads."

"Somebody's gonna catch on to the fact that we're the Winchesters," Dean muses, his voice miserable. "And that we're looking for him. Then I'm never gonna see him again."

Dean can feel that Sam is looking at him anxiously. Dean rolls his eyes, but his throat burns. "I'm okay, Sammy. Just worried."

"Yeah," his brother mutters skeptically. "Just _worried_."

Dean smiles sadly. "Any more hospitals you know of?"

…

Castiel jerks awake. He's been dreaming again. He dreamed of wings this time. _I used to have wings, _he says to himself. He stands up and brushes some twigs off of his trench coat.

"Hello," says a voice behind him. Castiel jumps. A dark-skinned woman is standing there, maybe thirty, with a car bearing the words "Taft County Hospital" behind her. She has an easy smile that makes Cas want to trust her. "You alright, sir?"

Castiel bobs his head. "I'm… I cannot remember. I'm lost."

The woman's face softens. "Do you have any relatives? I have a phone you could use."

Castiel shakes his head. "My relatives have fallen," he says, unsure how he knows this. Unsure what this means. "But Dean," Castiel adds, wondering if this woman knows Dean. "I remember… Dean."

The woman smiles gently. "Okay, sir. There's a hospital near here. If you're not in critical condition, I can drive you. I'm a registered surgeon. My name is Mirah. You're safe now."

…

Sam comes sprinting out of the hospital this time, a wide smile on his face. "Dean, bingo. Tall-ish, dark-haired, blue-eyed man came in yesterday, accompanied by one of the hospital staff. Being released in a few minutes."

Dean feels like the breath has been crushed out of him. He can't get his hopes up, he needs to remember that. He follows Sam into the hotel lobby. Can't get his hopes -

But Cas is standing there, at the front desk. He's still wearing the coat. And the tie. And his hair is all mussed up.

"Cas," Dean breathes, and rockets toward his fallen angel, pulling him into a bear hug. Not caring that the whole lobby is watching, not caring that he's the biggest girl in the whole world, because his Cas is all right.

"Who…" Cas pushes away slightly, his eyes bright. Even though he's not an angel anymore, Cas's eyes glow with a piercing blue light. He tilts his head and Dean swallows. He had counted on Cas remembering him, but what if…?


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow okay so this came along faster than I expected it to. Not very much destiel action but you can sorta see it. please review and tell me what i should fix! thanks y'all. :)**

Castiel doesn't recognize the man who hugged him at first. But then he sees the man's green eyes, green like summer grass, and Castiel _remembers. _He remembers his nickname, _Cas_. He remembers demons and Sam and Crowley and Naomi. He remembers Jimmy. He remembers falling. He remembers his family.

He remembers Dean. He remembers beer and the Impala and magazines and pie. He remembers bleeding for Dean. He remembers loving Dean.

Cas doesn't remember if Dean loves Cas, too. Cas doesn't remember the hunter ever telling Cas anything like that.

_So this is it. ET goes home. _Cas is reminded forcibly of Dean's hurt face.

_I didn't _go_ home! _Cas wants to shout desperately. _I stayed for you, Dean. I did everything for you._

Instead, Cas whispers, "Hello, Dean." And the feeling he puts into that name says it all.

…

Dean is giddy as a thirteen-year-old girl as he drives Cas home. He makes Sam sit in the back, despite his grumbling, because he deserves a good long look at his former angel. A _platonic _look, mind you.

Well.

Not really.

Dean savors Cas's eyes, alive and bright. Dean pays attention to the road, but he also listens to Cas's quiet, pleased hum as he presses his face to the window. Dean wants to hug Cas, just acknowledge that his best friend survived his fall from Heaven.

As soon as they reach home, Sam jumps out of the car. "I'll leave you lovebirds alone," he says, and heads inside, barely escaping Dean's fist.

"Bitch!" Dean yells after him, his cheeks flaming.

"Jerk!" comes the resounding reply of a pleased Sammy.

…

Cas wonders what Sam meant by lovebirds. It probably has to mean that Dean loves Cas, too, but Cas doesn't know if Dean loves him like that.

Dean swallows as he leans against the car. "Something on your mind, Cas?" Cas is about to ask Dean if he loves Cas when he remembers something.

_When humans want something, really really bad..._

_We lie._

"No," Cas says firmly. "I'd like to go inside now, please."

Dean blinks.

Cas can feel Dean's confusion. He wonders how he can feel Dean's emotions, because he no longer has his Grace. Or his wings. That's what Cas misses most. The feeling of wings on his back.

Dean makes Cas feel like he has still has wings, still has his Grace, even when he doesn't.

Maybe that's why Cas loves him so much.

…

Dean stares at Cas, cocking his head, contemplating his fallen angel. He can tell something is bothering Cas.

Instead of asking, because Dean has always been terrible at words, Dean puts his arm around his friend. "C'mon, buddy, let's get inside. It's gotten pretty messy in there without you."

Dean steps in, blushing slightly as Cas looks pointedly at the beer bottles and cans strewn around the main room. Dean shrugs, trying to write it off as nothing. "I really missed you, Cas, that's all."

"I'm sorry," Cas whispers.

Dean clears his throat. "So… how'd you remember? Did you just remember everything when you woke up?"

Cas tilts his head. "All I remembered when I woke up was your name."

…

Cas is surprised to see Dean blush when he says this. Trying to make him less embarrassed, Cas adds, "I just woke up and all I could remember was the name 'Dean'. And," Cas continues, unintentionally getting closer to Dean, "I remembered the color of your eyes."

Cas can see Dean visibly swallow. "Oh. Then how did you know it was me? In the hospital, I mean."

Cas inhales sharply. "Because I recognized your eyes. And then I remembered… _everything_."

Dean is looking funny at Cas. Cas likes how Dean's eyes get wide, how his pupils grow a little, how a ring of that vivid green is still left. Dean moistens his lips. "Cas, that's…" He takes a deep breath and looks at Cas. Suddenly Cas is a little uncomfortable. The pair of them are too close together. "That's great," Dean finishes softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**lotsa fluff in this chapter because Cas has bad dreams. poor guy. as far as romantic-ness and kissing and such, i apologize, as I'm relatively hopeless at writing that stuff. *cowers* OOH AND ONE MORE THING: to the couple of reviewers, on here and tumblr, thank you. y'all are super duper helpful and patient. :3**

Dean has the odd urge to lean forward and plant a kiss on his best friend, but he knew that'll most likely ruin their friendship. Which is one thing, he assures himself, he just can't do.

Still, Cas's lips are right _there, _and even though Dean has never kissed a man in his life - or, hell, had the urge to - Dean wants to kiss Cas.

Dean bites his lip, watching Cas's eyes for discomfort. _Dean, don't, _he tells himself. _You can't._

But he just can't help himself. It's so easy to lean forward; Sam isn't even in the room, nobody's going to see them.

To his deep, resounding pleasure, Cas doesn't push him away. Dean doesn't force anything on Cas, no tongue, nothing crazy. Just an innocent, chaste kiss that Dean didn't know he wanted until now.

…

Cas breaks away relatively quickly.

"Dean," he whispers. He's afraid Dean has just done this because of shock at getting Cas back, and he doesn't want it to be like that.

Dean stares at Cas imploringly. "Please don't leave now, Cas," Dean begs.

Cas smiles, but his eyes are pained. "Even if I wanted to, I would be unable," Cas says quietly. "My wings, Dean." Cas feels tears in his eyes. "My wings are all gone." Cas doesn't say that he felt something when Dean kissed him. He doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up about something that may be just a feeling. "I'm not an angel anymore." Cas begins to sink down, but he can feel Dean's strong grip on his wrists, forcing him to stand.

"Look at me," Dean commands. Cas looks up. Dean takes a deep breath, and his eyes flit up to the ceiling. He lets out a nervous laugh, which makes Cas feel funny inside. "Cas, bud, you're always going to be my angel. Okay?"

…

Dean watches Cas anxiously as he says this.

Cas smiles a little and nods. Dean exhales. "Alright, it's getting… late, I guess, so why don't you come on to my room? You don't have a room here yet."

Cas nods again. "But I can't sleep, Dean."

Dean hesitates before saying anything as he leads Cas to his room. "What do you mean?" he asks carefully.

"I tried," Cas replies miserably. "In the hospital. I had nightmares."

"That's human," sighs Dean.

"And it's what you had," Cas says bluntly.

Dean smiles tightly, tensing, forcing himself not to shake with the memory of his appalling dreams. "I'll be able to sleep now, don't worry. And I can help you. I can teach you."

…

Cas wanders into Dean's room. It's not too big, but the bed is nice and wide with plenty of room. Dean lends Cas some things to sleep in, and lets Cas change in the bathroom. Cas comes out and lays down on the left side of the bed, very close to the edge, because he thinks that Dean won't like it if he sleeps too close.

Cas feels Dean get in the bed next to him a while later. Dean isn't very heavy. Cas wonders how well the hunter sleeps without Cas watching over him. Dean suddenly makes a little sighing sound with his throat that makes Cas's stomach twist, but the feeling is not unpleasant. Cas falls asleep easily after this, but he doesn't like what happens once he's asleep.

He has nightmares, dark shadowy dreams filled with tortured screams of the Winchesters in Hell and the inhuman cries of his family as they fall. Suddenly somebody is shaking Cas awake. It's Dean, of course.

"Cas, hey, you O.K.?"

…

"It was just a dream," Dean reassures him. "Relax." Dean rolls back over and tries to fall back asleep, but he can hear Cas whimper.

Pitying the former angel, he turns on his side and puts his arm around Cas's waist, dragging him closer. "It's okay, Cas. They angels aren't dead, just fallen. Sam and I are right here, okay? Everybody's alright."

Dean can feel Cas's muscles tense under Dean's touch. He feels sick all of a sudden. It occurs to him that maybe Cas doesn't want comfort like that. He releases his angel slightly.

"Wait, Dean," comes Cas's quiet, muffled voice. "I didn't mind that."

Dean suppresses a smile and wraps his arm around Cas's back. "Alright, then. Sweet dreams, buddy."

He waits for Cas to fall asleep, and then allows his eyes to close.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so I apologize for the ****cringe-worthy cheesiness of this chapter, but it's just fluffy and cute and a filler because… dun dun dun, soon the plot is gonna thicken, instead of being just… well, fluff. *dramatic horn blowing* i know there's only a few reviewers, but i read everything y'all write about this fic, on here and on tumblr. you're very appreciated. and now i'll let you read.  
**

Cas wakes up early in the morning, before anybody else. He turns slightly to find that Dean's arm is still tight around him, so that he can barely move. Cas smiles and stretches out. But suddenly there's a knock on the door, causing Dean to bolt upright, breathing hard.

"Everybody decent?" says Sam's voice from beyond the door. Dean blushes furiously and moves farther away from Cas.

"Yeah," replies Dean, sounding exhausted. Sam comes in and grins at the pair of them, raising one eyebrow.

"I was starting to wonder how long it'd take you to get Cas in bed." Sam cracks up, earning a yelp of indignation from Dean, followed quickly by a pointed glare. "Well, I'm gonna get breakfast, but if you want something special you're going to have to get it yourself."

Dean rolls his eyes, still beet red at his brother's comment. "Get whatever you want, Sammy. I'll stay with Cas."

"Of course," Sam says, widening his eyes mockingly and putting a hand to his heart. "Can't leave the boyfriend alone."

Dean picks up a shoe and hurls it at Sam, who laughs and shuts the door. Cas is more than a little confused.

_…_

"Why did Sam call me your boyfriend?" Cas asks bluntly. Dean's cheeks flush again.

How is he supposed to explain this? "He's teasing me, Cas, that's all."

"Why is that considered teasing?"

Dean takes a deep breath. "Because Sam knows I'm sensitive when it comes to you."

Dean watches Cas carefully, watches his flushed pink mouth pucker in confusion. Dean wants to kiss that pucker away, but he doesn't. He feels that Cas might be a little confused (or hurt, though Dean hoped not) from yesterday.

He almost wants to say he loves Cas, but he's sort of a coward when it comes to things like this. Things he's afraid of saying because he's never said them before.

"I really missed you, Cas," Dean blurts, his voice barely a whisper.

Dean sees Cas turn, probably so Cas can see him better. "I missed you too, Dean," says his angel.

…

Cas lets Dean pull him up, lets himself fit snugly under Dean's chin. Dean has his back against the headboard, and he's humming a little, tapping out a beat on Cas's back. Cas shudders as Dean's hand drops to where his wings used to be.

"Did I hurt you?" asks Dean hoarsely, sounding surprised and upset.

"No," Cas whispers. "That's… It's the spot where my wings were connected."

Dean cups Cas's face in his hand, an action which he is _fervently_ glad Sam can't see. Actually, he's very glad Sam hasn't seen Dean and Cas at all this morning. Because even Dean knows he's basically cuddling with Cas, a sight which Sam would have a field day with. "Can you feel anything there anymore?" Dean whispers.

Cas hesitates, then nods. "When I am having a particularly powerful emotion, I can feel tingling. As if my body is trying to grow new wings." Cas lets out an unconvincing laugh. "But that is impossible."

"Can you feel anything right now?" Dean's voice is a low hum that barely reaches Cas's ears. He swallows. Cas doesn't want to say how much it tingles whenever Dean is with him. He doesn't want to say that when Dean kissed him Cas felt like he was sprouting wings right then and there.

…

Dean's heart beats a little faster when Cas nods.

"Where can you feel it?" Dean asks softly. Cas shivers slightly and reaches behind his back to guide Dean's hand to a place near each shoulder blade.

Dean runs his fingers softly around the area. There's a certain electrifying feeling that shoots up his hand as he does so. Cas closes his eyes and heaves a sigh of relief. And Dean doesn't care if it makes him sound like a lovestruck fourteen-year-old girl: Cas looks absolutely _adorable_ right now.

Dean stretches out suddenly, knowing he should get out of bed before Sam comes back. He stands up, pushing away the sheets, smirking when he remembers that Cas is wearing _his_ clothes. Which shouldn't feel as good as it does, but hey, Cas is his angel, Grace or not.

Dean waits for Cas to yawn and pull on a pair of Dean's jeans, which ride slightly low on his waist (and Dean doesn't complain, because - he's not gonna lie - they make Cas look pretty damn good). Dean grins, keeping this particular thought to himself, and leads Cas into the kitchen.

…

Cas rather likes wearing Dean's clothes. They smell of him and are much cleaner than Cas's.

Cas waits for Sam to get back with food in the kitchenette, drumming his fingers against the Formica tabletop.

Dean seems to be a little restless. Cas wonders why.

Finally, Dean takes a deep breath and pulls a chair up so that he's facing Cas, no tabletop in between them. Dean scratches the back of his neck nervously, a little redness starting to creep up his cheeks. "Look, Cas, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. That was sorta… wrong of me."

Cas blinks and wonders how he should comfort him, since, if he's going to be perfectly blunt, the kiss was not wrong at all.

He opts for the way the hunter comforted him.

Steeling his courage, he pushes himself forwards and presses his lips to Dean's.


	5. Placeholder Announcement

**GUYS IM SO SORRY THIS UPDATE IS WAY TOO LATE. I've been super busy lately, and I know that's a shitty excuse but it's all I've got. In other news, I'm busy developing the plot of this little ficlet further, so you can have a little taste of Chapter 5.**

…

Dean is kind of taken aback at Cas's sudden move.

But he sure as hell doesn't object.

This time, because Cas initiated it and Dean isn't nervous as hell about screwing their relationship over, Dean deepens the kiss right away. He presses on Cas's chest slightly, silently reminding both of them that Sam can walk in on them at any moment.

But Dean can't resist dancing his fingers across Cas's back, where he felt electricity before. It's simultaneously exciting and terrifying. Sort of what Dean has always imagined sticking your finger in an electrical socket would feel like.

But this isn't like that. This is nice. Dean could get used to this.

Except just then, they hear Sam at the door and he and Cas are breaking apart far too soon for Dean's taste.

…


End file.
